My Grief & My decision
June-2018
On 21.2.18 , when I came to my room
to take lunch, my phone rang & I was informed that my wife met with an accident
& sustained some injuries. I was unaware at that time that she is no more
& the accident was fatal. When I came to know it while waiting for the
flight, my mind became blank & tears started rolling from my eyes. This is
perhaps the first severe blow in my life as our association is for 30 years
& we have many sweet memories till date. I was totally not accepting her
death till around three weeks & was still in trauma thinking that all that
I heard/experiencing is a dream. No consolation of any kind could give me
comfort except weeping loudly which I was unable to do. My son & daughter
did worry a lot but tried to be balanced in my presence. I wondered to note
their maturity. They know very well how I & their mother lived together
with lot of affection & separation is one thing which is unbearable to any
of us. We ourselves decided to live together & ours is a love marriage
unlike in many of the cases of our times.
Till now, I relied only on my wisdom
& guided many people w.r.t. their personal/professional problems. Now I was
forced to console myself. Leading life without your loved partner is really a
challenging task as in every moment of life her memories haunts & her
missing is irrevocable.
Fortunately, for me her memory is her
smiling face & her teasing words treating me like a child which I enjoyed
most of the time. She is well remembered by all about her perfection in work, hard
working nature, creativity in doing work etc. She always used to say that she
enjoyed her life fully & happy to have me as a life partner & wished to
have me as her life partner in next life also! Even though I don’t believe life
after death, I wish it to happen in our case.
Even though I decided to live with my
children, at the age of 55 yrs, I feel that I am left alone. My daughter who
was very deeply bonded with her mother is the only inspiration for me to learn how
to cope up such tragic incident in life. Her assurance to be with me forever,
may be emotionally, consoles me to a large extent. My son & daughter-in-law
also gave me lot of support & assured me of their continued assistance in
whatever form I require. Ultimately I decided as below;
As I cannot change the past,
Concentrate on what to do next to help other family members to come out
of the grief.
Convert my grief to compassion towards others &
Develop a passion to live lively for the rest of my life.
But is it possible ??????
3 comments:
Yes uncle. Aunty would be really happy to see you happy. I wish all the happiness and love to you all.
Hope to see more write-ups from you.. keep inspiring the ones around you :)
Sujana's wish to be your life partner in next birth also will come true if you cherish it as your strong will. Death of body is as common as it's birth. This we can understand if we read and understand GITA in right perspective. Only through meditation we can experience the truth of birth and rebirth. I advise you to start reading GITA commentary given by Master EK at least once. It gives right understanding of life. We too are deeply grieved at the untimely departure of Sujana. Our scriptures say only selfless and unconditional service to living needy beings will keep humans happy as it is the only way to neutralise our past karma. Let us start some service activity in her name
I pray Almighty to give you strength to come out of sadness and to cherish only the happy moments we spent with her.
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